THE PLOT
The Enterprise visits the home planet of the Edo, a race of models-in-training who seemingly exist solely to have sex with anyone, at the drop of a hat. "Any hat," Tasha observes, not unhappily. Picard decides to evaluate this planet's potential for shore leave. Having heard that it's a planet of loosely-clad, sex-crazed men and women, he naturally decides that Wesley should accompany the Away Team.
As the grown ups are escorted to the Playboy Mansion, Wesley is allowed to run off with some teens to play whatever unspecified game they come up with. Wesley, of course, chokes and blushes, so they end up playing ball instead. Meanwhile, Tasha finally decides to ask one of the locals a useful question, about laws and punishment, and discovers that the punishment for any crime committed within a random "punishment zone" is death: instant, automatic, with no chance of appeal, regardless of how severe or trivial the crime may be.
That's Wesley's cue to get overenthusiastic while trying to catch the ball. He smashes through a very light blockade set up to protect some new plants. Sure enough, he's within the "punishment zone" (now, what were the odds?), and is sentenced to death. And that pesky Prime Directive - along with an orbiting "God" - means that Enterprise can't just beam him out and fly merrily on its way.
CHARACTERS
Picard: Apparently, so overenthusiastic about the idea of sending Wesley down to the Planet of the Pleasure People that he can't even be bothered to have Data or the ship's computers run a quick scan of the planet's laws (information we're explicitly told that Riker and Tasha have returned with) to see if there's anything that, y'know, might be important!?! I'll spare Archer comparisons, because even the reckless Archer wouldn't be this negligent.
Picard's absolute faith in the Prime Directive is shaken by the fact that Wesley is the one threatened... I suspect, more accurately, by it being pretty, red-headed Dr. Crusher's son that is threatened, as I've seen little evidence thus far that Picard actually cares a fig about Wesley. Anyway, he shows his respect for the Prime Directive not only by openly beaming down to a pre-Warp civilization, but by kidnapping one of its citizens, and then promising Dr. Crusher that "no matter the cost," he will not allow the Edo to kill Wesley. All very kind, and likely to get him laid I suppose, but... Wouldn't there be some kind of review of his actions back home? Or would there be universal agreement among the command staff to doctor this particular report?
Riker: Spends the first act behaving like a frat boy, leering at the local girls. Upon hearing about the random "punishment zone," he immediately thinks of Wesley - probably realizing that in any Wesley-centric episode, the annoying one will certainly get into trouble almost instantly. He says something inane about rulebooks that apparently convinces "God" to bend the rules. Me, I suspect "God" was too busy laughing at the parade of inanity to maintain His control over the transporter, and that Picard & co. got lucky in being able to beam up.
Worf: Still no character development, but does get the one genuine laugh of the episode. While Rivan is closely embracing him, with clear, strong interest, he glances over at Riker and concedes, "Nice planet."
Hot Alien Space Babe of the Week: Brenda Bakke is Rivan, the gorgeous Edo female representative. She has no discernible character, but she's scantily clad, she's gorgeous, and she's openly willing to have sex with apparently anyone. Upon seeing Picard's technological superiority, she kneels in front of him and pronounces him a god. What's not to like? The only reason Kirk wouldn't have settled this conflict in twenty minutes is that it would have taken at least 2/3 of the episode to get him away from all the, ah, distractions.
IT'S TIME FOR... BRATS IN SPAAACE!
Wesley is sent down to the planet to evaluate it as a place for children. With all the naked people openly having sex with anyone and everyone, how could anyone think this isn't the perfect place for children to go play? Presented with a gorgeous, and apparently interested, Edo girl his own age, he stammers, blushes, and chokes so badly that they're probably still performing the Heimlich on him to this very day. Then, while playing ball with Edo girl and two Edo boys, he manages to smash some flowers. His immediate response? Not to apologize, or to offer to help fix any damage, but to say, "I'm all right." Reacts, blank-faced, to the threat of execution. To his credit, he's mostly off-screen after that, but still manages to be vaguely annoying when he comes back at the end of episode.
NOW LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT...
A section I usually reserve for my Enterprise reviews, but this particular episode cries out for it. Doesn't the Prime Directive, as established on other series, apply to any direct contact or interference with pre-warp cultures? Doesn't that mean that they're already violating the Prime Directive by openly beaming down to the surface to copulate with the locals (let alone beaming one of the locals back up to the ship to ID "God" for them)? Admittedly, the rules of the Prime Directive were never all that consistent, even back in TOS, but surely there was a reason Kirk and Spock always dressed up as locals when they beamed down to a pre-Warp planet?
Beyond that, it is made clear that the mode of execution is poison. They retrieve one of the needles, and Code of Honor already made it clear that they could simply allow the execution and then beam Wesley's body up and revive him with the antidote. But then I guess we'd be spared the compelling climax where Dr. Crusher whines that "the law's not fair" and Picard announces that, morally speaking, any law must have exceptions (exceptions to the Prime Directive apparently applying anytime Picard needs to look heroic for the pretty doctor with whom he shares a past. Said exceptions are much less likely to be of aid to Random Redshirt #3).
More logic conundrums: The population of the entire planet keeps itself in check because the punishment for any crime is death... but only if that crime is committed within the single, randomly-assigned punishment zone? Which means that, if there really is just one punishment zone at any given time, that you could be wantonly lawless without fear of reprisal, as long as you're not in the punishment zone (which, I reiterate, is one spot on THE ENTIRE PLANET!). This isn't a recipe for law and order; it's a recipe for anarchy. I'm not Data, so I'm not going to compute the statistical odds of being in the punishment zone at any given time while at the same time committing a crime... However, I think it's fair to say that it's roughly equivalent to me buying a random lottery ticket and hitting the big jackpot.
Also, apparently being over 40, overweight, or physically imperfect are all against the Edo law, given the appearance of everyone we see in this episode.
THOUGHTS
Not much to add to the above. This is a very silly episode, good only to make fun of. It is a bit of an unintentional laugh riot, mind you - all the moreso because of how seriously all the regulars take it.
It also retains the poor pacing of most of the Season One TNG episodes. The writers/producers/Roddenberry (who probably had a hand in this) spend so long enjoying The Porn Planet, it takes a full 20 minutes for the plot to even start! Once it does, and Wesley is under threat, the script has no idea what do next... So we get another 20 minutes of hand-wringing and babbling about the floating plot device the locals call "God" (which could be excised from this episode with no real effect on the overall storyline). Finally, Picard and Riker simply declare that Wesley is an exception to the rules and they're beaming him out of there. So go stuff it, Edo!
I did love how pissed the Edo policeman looked at not being able to kill Wesley. "C'mon, Baldy! No one ever breaks any laws here! I never get to kill anybody! Please, let me kill him? Not fair!" I also loved Dr. Crusher's reaction to hearing Wesley was facing execution. Faced with the execution of her only son, she does not go into shock or storm with righteous fury. When "God" thunders, "Return my child," Dr. Crusher does not shout back the same. Faced with Wesley's execution, she reacts with very mild upset. I've seen people more bothered about bad restaurant service than she is over her son's imminent death!
Ah, well. Bad episode all around, this. Not quite the worst, simply because it's so bad, it almost works as an unintentional self-parody. Still... pretty darn bad. I'm starting to wonder: Did I dream Where No One Has Gone Before?
Rating: 2/10.
Previous Episode: Lonely Among Us
Next Episode: The Battle
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I've been a TOS fan since 1969, but because I lived in a TV-free household for a couple of decades, I'm just now getting around to watching the other Star Treks.
ReplyDeletePeople keep telling me that Kirk breaks the Prime Directive right and left, but Picard is a SERIOUS, TRUSTWORTHY captain, not like that cowboy Kirk. Say what? Maybe Picard is going to become wonderful, but in this episode, he breaks the Prime Directive just by BEAMING DOWN, and no one seems to even NOTICE.
Picard must be going to improve a whole heck of a lot, because if I were Wesley Crusher in this episode, I'd wish I were serving under Kirk.
Well, the good news is that it will be a while before there's an episode as bad as "Justice." The bad news is that Season One remains pretty bad, and Picard doesn't even start to work as a character until very near the season's end.
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